Child's Play
by Danym
Summary: After the decision is made to move forward, what will they do? This is a sequel to my ‘Baby series’ [GSR; Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Child's Play

By Dany

Summary: When Grissom comes up with something private during work, Sara is confused, but maybe a conversation can help.

A/N: This is a sequel to my 'Baby series'. It took me a while to come up with a way to get back into the story, so I hope someone is still interested in this.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

xxxxx

"That's all," Grissom finished the instructions for everyone tonight.

"Hey, what about me?" Everyone except Sara.

The others had been given cases and were already on their way out, but he hadn't said one word to Sara since entering the breakroom.

"There is this thing called paper work."

She could hear Nick groan as he left the room, happy that he wasn't the one those words were directed at. However, Sara blinked, confused about what Grissom was talking about.

Had he lost the report again in the aftermath of a tornado that he called his filing system?

She had put in another extra hour yesterday to finish the stupid thing so that she _could_ get out in the field tonight.

He pointed his finger to the door as a motion to come with him. She was tempted to tell him to just hand her a case and leave her alone, but reason won out.

Her day had been longer than usual. She had only gotten about two hours of sleep, and while she was always running on little sleep, two hours were cutting it even for her. She wasn't too tired to work yet, but it had made her slightly cranky. Especially since she hadn't been able to figure out _what_ kept her from resting.

Arriving at his office, she hoped he had noticed that she wasn't in the mood for one of his experiments.

"Is this about my report?" He shook his head, but said nothing further. Great, a guessing game.

"Grissom…" She tried to make it clear that he should get to the point.

He finally realized that he better do as she wished. "I didn't mean to keep you from your work. I just thought that maybe you would be interested in this."

He held out a letter and when she took it from him, she saw that it was from the Knightleys. They thanked them for their help with the insect house and of course Amelia, but they also invited them for Amelia's second birthday party.

Sara looked up, wondering why he had not told her off-hours.

But then, they hadn't talked much outside of work, not since last week. He had tried to fix things at work, doing most of the cases with her, talking to her, asking her how she was dealing, but that was not enough.

At first she had thought it nice that he was being so attentive, but then she had started wondering why he was putting so much into their work relationship. Then her insecurity took over and blew things out of proportion. Now the question was, was he focusing on work so he didn't have to deal with their personal relationship? She didn't want to believe that he was already breaking his promise.

What Sara didn't want to acknowledge was that she was scared, and that was the reason why she wasn't sleeping. "Why are you telling me that now?" The look on his face told her he was taken aback by her cold behavior, but she wanted him to figure it out. After all, Gil Grissom was a smart man.

And he did. Sara could practically see the metaphorical light bulb go on over his head and was curious as to what he had to say.

"It's a slow shift, and I thought that you would be interested and…" All the wrong reasons came out, making it sound so unimportant. Grissom realized it himself and knew he had to tell her the truth or risk losing her.

"I don't know what to do." He sounded so vulnerable, and his physical reaction mirrored this as well. Only now, Sara could see the fatigue in his face. He was pale, and his eyes were shadowed.

Suddenly she knew what had gone wrong.

Ironically, it was not she that had expected too much, but Grissom who wanted to move further than they were prepared to and thought that she would not be satisfied with what they were trying to recover. He obviously needed more assurance.

"Grissom, I don't expect a miracle. I know this is hard, but we can take our time. _You_ can take your time." Maybe she could make him understand that she was just as insecure.

"This last week was hell. I thought that after our talk we could spend _some_ time together. Maybe just one little breakfast. Instead you put everything into work and although I love working with you I felt sick. I thought that this was your way of letting me down. I don't expect a miracle, I just want a starting point and go on from there slowly."

When she finished, she saw that he had been listening and was thinking about her words.

"Breakfast?"

Sara nodded and tried to reassure him with a smile, praying that he would overcome his fears.

"Where?"

"A diner, let's start slow." She knew he was not ready to share his house or feel even remotely comfortable in her 'territory', so she provided some neutral ground.

They had been 'out' before, but this time there would be no buffer between them, and maybe that was the decisive point.

She was relieved when his answer was positive.

"After shift?"

Sara sent him one her smiles, and she could see the tight lines around his eyes easing.

"Meet me in the parking lot. And bring the letter with you."

xxxxx

Grissom leaned against his car, waiting for Sara to leave the lab. It was already thirty minutes after the end of shift, and Sara had yet to emerge from the building.

He began to get nervous, shifting from one foot to the other. Although this whole… 'date' had been her idea, he was afraid that he had blown it somehow. A normal 'date' was difficult for him, but Sara was so unpredictable.

Relief flooded him when he saw her step out into the parking lot, looking around searching for him.

Spotting him, her face lit up sending him a blinding smile. "Sorry I'm late, but you know me. It's easy to forget that shift ended if you look down a microscope."

Her joke didn't have the desired results. Only the corner of his mouth lifted a bit, but it was not a real smile. He was too nervous. "That's fine. Where are we going?"

She moved to the passenger side of his car. "A.D.?"

He nodded and got into the car. Sara followed and they were on their way.

xxxxx

The place was empty when they entered, only a few people were out so early. The big morning rush was probably yet to come.

They sat in silence until their orders were placed.

Only then, Grissom spoke up, "What do you think about the letter?"

Sara leaned back with a bemused smile. Of course Grissom would still try to avoid the essential parts of their conversation, but sooner or later they would have to clear things up.

For now, she would give him an out.

"Do you want to go?"

She had thought about the invitation and wasn't sure how to proceed. Although she really liked the little girl, she didn't like parties – especially parties with lots of people and little kids.

The look on Grissom's face told her that he had the same doubts.

"It's a birthday party for a two-year-old," he stated, not really saying what he wanted to.

"You want to see her again," the surprise at her insight was evident in his face, "she really is a cute kid."

Slowly he nodded, showing her he cared.

Just at that moment, the waitress brought their food and interrupted the possibility at an even deeper insight. Sara knew they were at a diner, and serving food was what they did, but it seemed those waiters all went to a seminar on 'how to interrupt at the most inopportune moments'.

She had wanted to ask him more, but now the time had passed.

Listlessly, she pushed the food around her plate, trying to think of a way to ask him what she wanted to know. When she looked up, she noticed that Grissom wasn't eating either. He was sitting there with the fork in his hand, but didn't move it, just staring at her. He was probably trying to figure out what he had said wrong.

Sara pushed the plate away and crossed her arms in front of her chest as a defense mechanism. His silent admission had made her think again – and not exactly the most pleasant thoughts.

"Why does this little girl have such an effect on you?" In her mind the question went on, 'when I don't', but she knew she was being unfair. He _was_ trying.

"She moves something inside of me. Just like…" He probably hadn't meant for that to slip out, and when he realized what a confession he had made, he stopped abruptly.

Sara wondered what he had been about to say. She leaned forward, braced herself on the table and looked at Grissom expectantly. "Grissom?"

His eyes were downcast, trying to avoid eye contact, not wanting her to see what was going on inside of him.

From his reaction, she had a very good idea what he had wanted to say. Her promise to go slow was pushed aside for the moment. Although he had promised to let her in, he had not given her anything else yet. Maybe this was her chance to at least have a point to go forward from, to keep hoping.

"She reminds me of you."

He didn't lift his head, and his voice was nothing more than a whisper. "She looks like what I imagine you looked like at that age."

Sara sat there, soaking it all in.

_This_ was a huge step forward.

"The way she listens and takes up everything, her smile…" He looked up, straight into her eyes, and Sara felt her insides melt at the intensity she found.

She pressed her hands to the table, knowing they would be shaking otherwise. Her mouth opened, wanting to ask him what this meant, but her vocal chords refused to cooperate.

"I see _you_." His hands were slowly inching forward until they were covering hers.

The fact that his hands were clammy, cold, and seemed to be shaking gave her courage, knowing that he too was nervous.

"Grissom?" A simple nod from him encouraged her to go on, "As much as I…want this, I don't want you to feel pressured into something."

She was so focused on getting through her speech that she didn't see his confusion and hurt at her words.

"I know, I just forced this on you, and I'm sorry. I really want to go at your pace."

When she took the time to take a deep breath, he interrupted her. "You didn't. I wanted to say that. Can't you just accept that?"

"We're sooo good at screwing this up," she sighed, realizing she had overreacted. She should have just said 'thank you ' and let it go.

"Then let's not exceed our class for once." His weird but true answer made her smile.

"We talk too much, and we think too much."

"Exactly." He looked down on his plate, which was virtually untouched. "So, how's your food?"

Sara smiled again at his humor and replied, "Cold, but the company is good."

The tension finally left them when Grissom returned her smile.

Sara decided to use the good mood and thought about a solution for their invitation. "I think we should go and see Amelia. We don't have to stay, but maybe we could just drop off a present."

Grissom thought about it for a minute and then nodded before signaling the waitress to bring them new plates with warm food.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Child's Play

Chapter 2

By Dany

Summary: If you want to give a present, there is no way around shopping.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews I got, encouraging me to go on. And of course, a thanks to my beta, who probably can't see the word 'and' in combination with a comma anymore.

xxxxx

"Sara, is that really necessary?" Grissom complained as Sara tugged him along through the mall. She stopped once they reached their destination.

"We can't show up there with empty hands. I hate shopping probably as much as you do, but it's her birthday."

He had understood that concept very well, but why she had to drag him to this symbol of the ever-decreasing mental abilities of the human race was beyond him.

When they had finished the second round of breakfast, he had asked her what to do about the present, and it had been her idea to try this store. Not exactly a good choice.

He hated shopping, she was right about that. He rarely set foot in a mall since he had been lost once as a kid in the chaos that was Christmas shopping. It had been traumatic for him and his mother, and even now as an adult he had the feeling of being totally lost. He wanted to leave, but Sara had given him no choice, and he didn't feel like sharing to justify his need to take the car and go home.

"Alright," he sighed and followed her into the huge toy store.

The never-ending aisles stuffed with useless toys confused him. Why would a child need such cheaply produced, timely limited, and uneducational plastic stuff? There were much better things to buy for children.

Watching Sara wandering around indecisively, he knew she doubted her own choice. The section for two-year-olds was huge, but nothing really seemed appropriate.

"Well, this is harder than I thought." Grissom agreed with a nod, looking at some stuffed animals.

"What about this one?" He pulled out one whose tag claimed it was a hawk, but it actually looked more like an owl.

As he put it back he saw Sara smirking at his choice while she was holding up what was probably supposed to be some sort of beetle.

"Sara, this is," he stopped, taking a step towards her and continuing in a whispered tone, "trash. She could hurt herself with these."

He had noticed that the eyes were loosely glued on and could probably be ripped out easily. Fibers had remained in his hand, making it possible for a small child to inhale them.

"Yeah, I noticed that too." They looked around, but being the scientists and CSIs they were, they saw risks everywhere.

"We're never going to find anything for Amelia." Sara was clearly disappointed. She really wanted to buy something nice – just like him.

He knew that with the little girl between them as a buffer it seemed easier to be with Sara. If only he could keep it up a bit longer, maybe then he would be comfortable enough to move forward without crutches.

"May I make a suggestion?"

Both turned their heads in the direction of an unknown voice and saw an elderly woman standing there with a pack of play figures.

"Oh no, not these here. I buy them for my daughter, cause she won't listen to me when I tell her to get reasonable toys. Those are for a birthday party my grandson has to go too. Totally overpriced and not known for longevity, but nobody's asking me."

She looked friendly enough, smiling at them brightly while they just stared, not knowing how to respond.

"I know you have no reason to trust my word, but if you want something special, there is a little shop at the other end of the mall. They have the best toys. You know, more sturdy and safe than that."

Now they were all ears. They still needed a present, and both knew they were not going to find that here. "Where exactly can we find it?"

"Oh, that's easy. Walk to the other end, and before you reach this ridiculously huge shoe store, there is a small passage to the left. At the end of that passage, right in front of the exit, you will find it. It's called 'Little Monkey'. Curious name, but don't let that fool you, it's a beautiful store."

Grissom looked at Sara, reading in her eyes that she was all for seeing what the shop offered.

"Than…" When he turned around to thank the woman she was gone. "Where did she go?"

He raised his eyebrow in typical fashion, indicating he was just as surprised as she was. Sara shrugged her shoulders and looked around, but she couldn't find her anywhere.

"Well, shall we go and find this store?"

They left the big toy store, all the while looking around, hoping they would spot the old lady again, but they didn't have any luck.

xxxxx

The walk through the mall was more like an obstacle course, and Sara could hear Grissom grumble. "Don't these people have to be at work?"

While she didn't enjoy the shopping as such, she actually enjoyed the time she could spend with Grissom. Even if he was grumpy. Bumping into another person, he grumbled again. This time, though, it was too low for her to catch the single words, and considering his expression, she was probably better off not knowing what he muttered to himself.

If the masses weren't grinding her down as well, she might have found some humor in the situation.

As they passed a bookstore, and she stopped to take a look at the display, she suddenly felt him lean into her.

He stood right behind her, bringing his mouth close to her ear, whispering, "When we're done here, I can show you where you can get your crime books."

She didn't dare to move her head. He was so close. Was this sleep deprivation acting, or did he do that on purpose? She couldn't tell.

"Okay." Sara waited until he had stepped away to continue their journey as if nothing happened. No pressure, she reminded herself.

xxxxx

They were both glad to discover that the instructions the woman had given them were correct. The outside looked promising already.

The small window was colorfully decorated, showing toys designated for various ages.

Sturdy wood blocks were built up into a tower, an adapted croquet game was placed in the middle while some yo-yos and boomerangs hung on the right side in the window.

Sara looked at Grissom, smiling, now more hopeful to find a present that met their expectations. "Let's go in."

He opened the door and held it open, waiting for Sara to pass through; always the gentleman. She hid her smile, knowing it was just part of him, most likely taught by his mother.

There wasn't any 'elevator music' grinding on their nerves or glaring lights that made people blind enough to buy anything. The toys were colorful, but looked reasonably safe.

The shop was divided into age sections, and they easily found the right one.

Grissom picked a box up, on which a moon and stars were painted. It looked sturdy enough, and when he opened it, he heard music playing Brahms' Lullaby. There was something special about the box, but he figured it was too expensive, so he closed the lid again.

Sara had not reacted to the music. To see why, he looked over at Sara and saw her admiring a dollhouse, also made from wood.

A man about his age stepped up behind her, smiling and looking at the items they were holding. "May I help you?"

"We're looking for a present for a two-year-old girl."

"Well, you're in the right section. We have a variety of toys for that age. Most of them are made out of wood, but we also have stuffed animals if you want."

The clerk seemed genuinely interested in helping them, not pushy like the usual sales person that kept both of them from enjoying shopping.

"What kind of animals do you have?" Sara asked, thinking that might be their best bet since they only knew that Amelia liked animals. She could only speak for herself, but she doubted that Grissom knew any more about buying things for small children than she did.

"You mean stuffed, or in general?"

"In general," Grissom was faster than Sara and gave her an apologetic smile for cutting her off.

Sara nodded to show him it was fine before turning her attention back to the clerk and picking out a toy.

They were shown a lot of different stuffed animals, but none of them seemed to be _the _present for Amelia. When they were almost ready to give up on that kind of toy, the man pulled out some more animals that had been hidden behind the others.

Sara's eyes immediately fell upon a dark form. "Is that a chipmunk?"

She seemed to light up as she remembered doing a chipmunk imitation with the little girl.

At the man's confirmation, she took it from him and inspected it closer. The little button eyes were sitting tight, the fibers were soft and couldn't be pulled out by a bit of tugging. In short, it made a much better impression than the stuffed animals at the large toy store.

She quickly checked the price and found that it wasn't past the limit she had set herself. "I think I'll take that."

She looked over at Grissom, wondering what he thought. "Should we buy one thing together or two separate toys?"

He liked the animal Sara had picked, but while she had solely concentrated on what the clerk had shown her, he had taken another look around.

Something had drawn his attention on the lower shelf. It was a wooden jigsaw puzzle where the pieces were formed like various insects. Beetles, flies, dragonflies, and butterflies were painted onto the pieces. It was unusual as a toy, but it seemed to be the perfect present, especially for a child like Amelia who had stolen one of his bugs.

He bent down to pick it up, and when he was standing again, he saw the smile on Sara's face as she recognized what he held in his hands.

"I guess that means we're going for two toys."

The store clerk didn't quiet understand what the dynamic between the two of themwas, but contrary to many of the customers, they knew what they wanted and didn't buy just anything.

"Should I gift wrap it?"

He received two smiles and went to the register to proceed with his business.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Child's Play

By Dany

Summary: Even when you're tired there's something more important than sleep…a promise and books. Get your head out of the gutter, this is not a nc-17 fic:o)

xxxxx

They left the store with a shopping bag, satisfied that their effort had paid off. Hopefully, the little girl would like her birthday presents.

Arriving back at his car, Sara wondered if she should remind him of the trip he had promised her. This was her chance to spend more time with him, even if she was dead tired. Actually, she gladly sacrificed the rest of her sleep for 'Grissom time'.

"Grissom?"

He looked over the car at her.

"Will you…" her courage left her for a second before she swallowed hard around the lump in her throat, and she squeezed out the rest of her question, "take me to the bookstore?"

His worried expression eased as she spit out the end of the sentence. At first he had been worried, because she always came up with these strange requests, and her face and hesitance had let him to believe the worst. He was relieved that it was only about books. That he could deal with.

"You're not tired yet?" he still had to ask, not knowing if he was doing so for his comfort or hers.

He knew that the job _was_ wearing her down, and she needed her sleep. But, would she sleep if she were home? With Sara, he never knew.

"Yes," that answer surprised him, "but I wouldn't sleep even if I were home."

Once the words were out, she realized how selfish she was. She didn't want to go home and spend more time with him when he was probably dead on his feet. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you must be tired. You can just drop me off at my car and then…"

He held up his hand to stop her rambling. "Sara, it's okay. Stop."

She did and looked up, trying to figure out where this was going, but as usual, Grissom was hard to read.

"Get in." His simple order left her standing there, mouth agape, while he had already started the car.

The buzz of the window being levered roused her from her frozen position, and she got into the car.

When she looked at Grissom, she saw the question in his eyes, whether he should really drive to the bookstore or drive her home.

She gave him a smile and settled in. "Drive."

xxxxx

The store was out of the way, but as soon as Sara stepped in she knew it was worth it.

Different from the overcrowded stores in the mall, this one was smaller and full of corners, but also full of an atmosphere. There were books everywhere you looked, not only new ones, but also older editions that made you want to touch them to feel eras long past.

Like Grissom, she could probably spent hours here.

They loved books, it was as simple as that. And yet, she felt like Grissom was sharing something big with her.

She looked up, feeling the urge to thank him for bringing her to this place, but suddenly the words left her, seeing him wandering deeper into the store, completely in his element. This was not a place for spoken words, only the written ones were important so she decided to follow his lead and slip into another world.

Sara went through the shelves methodically, picking out a few books here and there. This was heaven.

Sometimes she could see Grissom doing the same, although his stack grew slower than hers. A few times he looked over at her, giving her a smile, looking like a kid in a candy store.

When they reached the exit and the register again, Grissom was certainly happy to see Sara so carefree, excitedly thumbing through her choices.

"Hey, you could put half of this stack back," he commented after taking a closer look at the ten or so books that Sara had put on the counter.

Startled, she looked up, wondering if she had crossed a line somewhere. Did she seem too overeager – like the kid in the candy store?

Her deteriorating mood went unnoticed by Grissom for he was still focused on the books. "I have them at home, and if you want…"

Only now did he lift his head, and when his eyes fell on Sara he realized that he must have said something wrong.

Their emotional high after the toy store had dissipated and only left doubts behind.

"I didn't mean to… all I wanted was to let you know that you could borrow those books from me so you wouldn't have to buy them."

Sara was relieved that she had just misinterpreted his words and decided to let him off the hook by giving him a small smile, trying not to let this ruin their time together. "Which ones?"

He seemed to be a bit confused at her question, so she clarified, "Which books do you have?"

He returned the smile and sorted her books into two stacks.

"Let me guess," she tried to joke, "this one," she pointed to the left pile, "can be found in your bookshelf?"

This little incident was not going to ruin her day. And if they wanted to rebuild their relationship – and maybe even more – than she would have to stop taking everything he said so seriously.

For how verbally versatile he was, he often had trouble expressing himself.

"Why did you pick the two entomology books," he asked, and this time she could tell he didn't mean anything by it. He was just curious.

"Well, I wanted to read up on the new friends you made at the park. Get to know them a little better."

Sara couldn't keep the mischievous tone from her voice, knowing he would approve of her thirst for knowledge, but also feel a bit uncomfortable at the attention she directed at his diversion.

However, they had to get over these awkward moments, and nothing was better than trying again and again.

He tensed for a second before making the conscious effort to relax and revel in her obvious excitement over newly won knowledge.

"I can lend them to you." He thought about how much he was willing to offer and decided to take another step forward. After all, teaching her had always been something he was comfortable with.

"And if you have questions, you can ask me."

Her smile grew even wider at his tentative offer.

A store clerk chose that moment to appear from somewhere within the shop. "Mr. Grissom, it's nice to see you again. And you brought another avid reader, I see."

Grissom reached out and shook the other man's hand in greeting. "It's nice to see you again too, and this place is definitely worth sharing."

"Completing your collection?" The clerk motioned towards one book, also not at all affronted by the lack of introductions.

"Yes, but also showing a friend of mine where to complete her collections." Grissom was surprised how easy that came out this time, but after he had stumbled in Mr. Knightley's office, he had vowed to do it right the next time.

"Sara Sidle, this is Henry Singer, and this is his store," he now introduced them properly.

Sara was surprised at this, and by the look on his face, so was the clerk. It was so unusual for him to be that straightforward and relaxed at the same time.

Soon the shock wore off, though, and she was able to concentrate on the here and now again. She was just as taken as he was by the little shop and wanted to go here more often. She held out her hand, and the shop owner shook it with a smile.

"These are your selections, I presume?"

Henry took a closer look at the two remaining stacks. "Hm…are these going back?"

Picking up the books Grissom had set aside, he looked over at Sara before turning to Grissom when he saw her chewing her lip, obviously still thinking.

"If I remember correctly, you already have them."

Grissom answered with a nod, waiting for Sara to make a decision. If she didn't want to borrow his books, or wanted to have her own volumes, he would respect that, and he swore to himself not to overanalyze the implications.

Sara didn't know what was keeping her back. There was a perfect chance to spend more time with Grissom and now she was hesitating. Was she stupid?

"Yes, should I put them back?" She reached out to take the books, but Henry shook his head and placed them on a shelf behind him.

"No need, I'll just do it later. Now, let's ring these up so you can enjoy the rest of the day."

They quickly paid for their books and left with a promise to return.

"Thanks," Sara said when they were back in his car.

Grissom, still in his own world, happy that they were slowly moving forward, looked at her surprised, not really knowing what she was thanking him for.

"For taking me to one of your spots."

He nodded, but all the while, as he drove her back to her car, he kept pondering those words,

Why did she feel the need to thank him? What did she mean, 'your spot'?

He never shared this part of his life; he never let anyone in. These 'spots' were special, but so was Sara.

He sighed, wondering why this was such a fight for him when he wanted it to be easy.

They reached the parking lot in record time, but Grissom had been so deep in thoughts that he had driven on autopilot and was surprised when Sara reached over and laid her hand on his arm. "I had fun, thank you."

For a moment he was scared she might try to kiss him – like an inexperienced schoolboy – but she just smiled at him and got out of the car.

"See you tonight." And then she was gone.

'I had fun too,' he thought smiling, although he could only admit it to himself – for now.

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

Child's Play

Chapter 4

By Dany

Summary: Is a party supposed to make you this nervous?

A/N: Thanks to Ace! And thanks to those of you who support me with your reviews. Keep them coming ;)

xxxxx

Sara stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down her clothes.

Grissom had said he would pick her up at three when she said goodbye after shift, and she had agreed, but now it seemed too soon.

Instead of not being able to sleep, she had done the opposite. The previous night had been long since they had all been called in at six and worked through the night until nine in the morning. Almost a double. Add that to the night before and the little sleep she had gotten yesterday because she had to be at court, and she was too tired to live up to her usual insomnia.

She never had to use an alarm clock, so when her body had claimed sleep, she had overslept.

At 2:10 she sat up straight in bed, cursing herself for forgetting to set the alarm clock. She only had about forty minutes to get ready.

Her movements were hurried as she took a quick shower and dressed as quickly as she could, picking the next best outfit, which was coincidentally her least favorite skirt with a plain blouse, but she hadn't had the time to contemplate her state of dress any further.

Now she was standing in front of the mirror, having just finished putting a bit of make-up on and struggling with her hair. Basically it did what it wanted, so she put it up with a hairclip.

She was thoroughly frustrated and contemplated calling Grissom to tell him to go alone, but then she reasoned that it was silly to freak out over something as trivial as wardrobe and hairdo. It was not that bad, and Grissom would panic if he had to go alone.

On cue, the doorbell rang, disrupting every plan to flee.

With one last look at the mirror, she left her bedroom to open the door.

"Hi, Griss…" She didn't get any further as she took in his appearance. The dark slacks and the gray shirt shaved off a couple of years and made him look even better in her eyes, especially since he had left the usual bulgy jacket at home.

His hair and beard were neatly trimmed, but the best feature was his eyes, and they were positively glowing.

"Hey," he returned, looking equally smitten. "You look nice." The words were out of his mouth before he was able to stop them.

Sara's head snapped up, amazed that Gil Grissom had just given her a compliment. "Thank you."

Unconsciously, She smoothed the imaginary wrinkles out of her skirt again. "You don't look so bad either."

Sara thought she saw him beginning to blush at her undivided attention, but he covered it quickly by looking back out into the hall. "Shall we go?" he asked, obviously more that a bit nervous now.

"Sure, just let me get my things, and then we can go." She hurried back into her apartment, picking up her purse and the bag with the present.

"You got your present?" She asked, starting a new topic to ease the tension.

He nodded, and when she had locked the door, they were on their way.

xxxxx

As they stood in front of the wildlife park waiting to be let in, they were both nervous. Sara toyed with her skirt again while Grissom fished for his glasses.

"Okay," Sara drew the word out, admitting that they were both far more nervous than they should have been.

She turned to Grissom, speaking again, "We're both adults, and this is just a birthday gathering for a two-year-old. We know how to carry a decent conversation, and we've got some presents. So…"

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves and continued, "This should be a piece of cake."

"Child's play," he retorted, not being able to rid himself of the uneasy feeling.

"A walk in the park."

"A cinch."

"No brainer."

"Easy peasy."

Sara burst out laughing. Everything was just too much; that she was 'going out' with Grissom – the awkwardness, the butterflies in her stomach – a social event like a child's birthday party, her own insecurities…and now this. 'Easy peasy' coming out of Gil Grissom's mouth just sent her over the edge.

But the best thing was that Grissom was laughing with her.

She couldn't even remember the last time he had done that. It was liberating to let go of any tension, and when they were interrupted by Mrs. Knightley, they still smiled when she asked them in.

For the first time, Grissom didn't feel the need to cover his emotions, and he decided to make the best of it while it lasted.

The 'party' was not as big as they had feared. Only a handful of couples were standing in a room for a special exhibition of plants where the party was held. It was colorfully decorated with paper streamers and balloons. Amelia and three other children were running around, chasing each other.

"I'm glad you decided to come," Patrick Knightley greeted them warmly, "Amelia talked about your visit for days."

As if to support the words, Grissom felt a tug at his pants, and when he looked down, he saw two big brown eyes staring up at him. He smiled and saw Sara smiling at the obvious affection before he felt the tug again.

Looking back down, he saw Amelia lifting her little arms in a clear gesture to be picked up. Grissom followed her request and soon she was in his arms.

"Happy Birthday," Sara said, smoothing a stray curl from the girl's forehead.

The girl grinned and lifted her hands, pulling her fingers down so that only two remained upward.

"Happy Birthday," Grissom echoed Sara's sentiment, "now you're _two_ years old."

He wriggled his fingers, causing her to giggle.

"We've got presents for her," Sara looked at the parents, waiting for their assent, but Amelia taught her that that would have better been discussed without her.

"Pwesentz," she called out, her eyes lighting up.

"Amelia," her father's stern voice made the girl look up, "it is not nice to want too much."

The girl seemed to understand what her father wanted from her, and she looked a bit like a sad little puppy. Then her face brightened, and she giggled, "Pwesentz, pleaz."

It was hard to resist her charms, and while Amelia's parent were able to keep a straight face, Sara and Grissom couldn't help themselves and smiled at her childish logic.

Mrs. Knightley put a hand on her husband's arm, "It's her birthday, and she's two."

He nodded and then smiled at his daughter. "Okay Ammi, you can have your presents."

Sara reached into her bag and pulled out her present, handing it to Amelia.

"Tank you," she squeaked and began ripping the paper off.

"Ship-monk!" She let go of everything but the animal and cuddled it to her chest. "Crk, Crk."

She smiled at Sara and clacked with her teeth.

Sara started laughing, and Grissom looked highly amused while the girl's parents were a bit confused.

"May I hold her?" Sara reached over and took Amelia from Grissom's arms.

"Will you show it to the other chipmunks?" She asked her and was rewarded with a nod and a big toothy smile.

"When we took her through the park, she had lots of fun at the chipmunk area," Grissom explained to the parents who were still a bit confused.

"She's a little animal lover – or big animal lover is more like it. She can watch them for hours." Mr. Knightley's pride was obvious. He was probably hoping that one day his little girl would follow in his footsteps.

"So we noticed." Grissom pulled out his present for her.

The girl eyed the present, but then looked back at her stuffed toy. She pressed it harder against her, moving it under her arm, not willing to relinquish her hold on it.

Grissom held the present closer to Amelia, but didn't hand it over. In this position, Amelia couldn't hold it, and he didn't want it to tumble to the ground when it slipped through her fingers.

Amelia leaned forward, and Sara had to correct her stance, her center of gravity moving with the child.

The more she held the girl, the more she got used to the feeling of someone really close to her. She was slowly changing her mind about children. Maybe…

Sara looked at Grissom, and his words came back to her. 'She reminds me of you', that's what he had said. Was there something behind this statement? A wish?

She shook her head to push the thoughts back. Now was not the time to think about that.

She focused on Amelia again and saw her little hands gripping the paper and pulling it away, making it tear. As she ripped the rest off, she giggled, taking pleasure in the act of destruction. When her present was uncovered, she sat back in Sara's arms and stared at the wooden board.

Grissom was afraid he had picked the wrong thing and the girl didn't like it, but then Amelia clapped her hands and started bouncing, almost dropping the stuffed toy.

"Bug, she called, making Grissom and Sara smile. "Fy, baddafy, beet, bugz," her voice reached a screeching level at 'bugz', which made the adults cringe. She reached for the board with one arm and pulled the ladybug out, studying it with a grin.

"Amelia, put it back so we don't lose it. And, what do you say?" Mrs. Knightley watched her daughter put the piece back with a pout. "You can play with it later, baby," she assured her, smoothing the baby hair at her daughter's cheek, making her smile.

"Tank you," the girl replied dutifully, receiving appreciative nods from her parents.

Grissom was glad she seemed to like her presents, "You're welcome."

"Would you like some cake?" Patrick Knightley asked the two CSIs, motioning to one of the tables where three plates of cake were resting.

Before answering, Grissom looked at Sara, remembering her comment that they didn't have to stay. When he saw her playing with Amelia and the chipmunk, he turned back to the Knightleys, hoping she wouldn't be mad at him for making the decision on both of their behalves. "That would be nice."

Sara looked up, but there was no sign of anger, so he relaxed.

They were staying.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Child's Play

Chapter 5

By Dany

Summary: The party goes on and brings some uncomfortable revelations.

xxxxx

Mrs. Knightley moved to take Amelia from Sara, but the little girl shook her head and wrapped her arm around Sara's neck to hold onto her. "Amelia, they want to go and eat some cake. Why don't you go play with the other kids?"

"Me too cake. My cake."

Her mother sighed and looked from Sara to Grissom, clueless as what to do.

"If she's allowed to eat cake, I don't mind helping her." Sara shifted the girl a bit in her arms, relieved when the arm slipped from her neck and went back to cradling the chipmunk.

"Well, she can have a few bites, but not a whole piece. She's gonna get sick if she eats more."

Sara nodded, and they made their way over to the tables while Amelia's parents excused themselves to talk to another couple that had just arrived. They sat down, each having chosen a piece of cake. Amelia was placed on Sara's lap, but after the first two bites, she began to squirm.

"Do you want to play with the others?" Sara made to put her down, but the little girl shook her head and reached out for Grissom. "Would you take her?"

With a nod, Amelia was passed over and settled happily onto Grissom's lap, reaching for his cake. "Could you hand me her spoon, please." When he held the spoon with some cake in front of her, she looked up and showed him her teeth, beaming up at him, before rocking forward and encasing the food in her mouth, shutting it with a snap.

"You're not a chipmunk, you're a little alligator," Grissom teased her.

As soon as the food was swallowed, she growled once before breaking out into giggles.

Sara watched the scene in amazement. She could not get used to seeing Grissom like this - so open and affectionate. Her curious mind wanted her to look around, to observe the other guests, but her heart prevented her from turning away. This sight was something she always wanted to remember.

When Grissom lifted his head, and their eyes met, she saw the sparkle in them, something she had never seen before. And then it hit her.

Amelia was much more than just a reminder of herself.

What if they were all wrong about Grissom? She knew he was close to his mother, and although his family had not been ideal, it was enough of a family for him to want that too. He always pushed the speculations about his marriage status away, and it didn't seem that he allowed himself to think about it, but now with Amelia so close to him, it looked too perfect, too harmonic for him to completely reject the idea of children. Maybe he did want somebody he could love so unconditionally.

Sara brought herself back to the present only to see Amelia giving Grissom the 'puppy-dog' look, perfectly pouting like only children can.

"Sara, should I let her?"

What? She hadn't been listening, too lost in her thoughts, and she didn't know what he was asking. "Sorry, I was…spaced out," she smiled apologetically.

His expression turned from helpless confusion to concern. "Are you tired? Should we leave so that you can get some sleep before shift?"

Sara didn't know how to respond. It was unusual for him to show that much concern. She felt a bit light headed, but she finally regained her senses enough to answer him. "No, I'm fine. I was thinking and wasn't paying attention, so I don't know what you were talking about."

"She wants to play with the puzzle while she and you," he motioned to her half-eaten cake, "are still eating."

She looked down at her plate and watched him put the puzzle on the table. He turned it over and let the pieces fall out while Amelia watched him curiously. When he had put everything in an ordered chaos for the girl to try and piece back together again, he turned back to Sara.

"What were you thinking about?" His question startled her.

She pushed the plate away, no longer interested in the food, and turned to him, watching him, trying to figure out how much she would be able to say.

"I'm sorry, none of my business," he withdrew quickly, casting his eyes downward.

Had he already ruined it? They were both so private; he should have known to keep his mouth shut. He shouldn't ask questions he wasn't ready to answer himself.

But as so often, Sara surprised him. He felt a light pressure on his arm, and when he turned his head, he saw that it was her hand squeezing his arm lightly to reassure him. "Grissom, why shouldn't you ask? Don't ever be afraid to ask me. We are both very private and are hesitant to give information away, but you can always ask. If I say 'no', then don't take it too hard."

A smile appeared on her face, giving him a mischievous look. "_You _will probably get further than anyone else."

He was shocked by her admission. As he gazed into her eyes he saw the truth of her statement, but he also saw the need for him to open up.

When the situation got too intense, he looked back down to Amelia who was just pushing the dragonfly into its place. Then she picked up a ladybug piece and held it out for Grissom. "Da!"

"Can you tell me what animal this is?" he asked, taking the piece from her, but holding it so that she could still see it.

"Bug," she shouted, grinning at him.

Sara knew he was taking his time to think about what she had said, and she waited for a sign that he had digested her words.

"That's a ladybug," Grissom corrected the girl, and she immediately tried to imitate the sounds.

"Ladybug," she got it out correctly, and at her own success and Grissom's appreciating nod, she bounced with joy.

"It's small and red with black dots."

"Dotz!" She took the piece from him and went back to finding the right place in the puzzle.

Only now, did he look back at Sara. "I was thinking about family."

It was not the whole truth, but she assumed that the whole truth would have been too much for him. As it was, this seemed enough for him to think about.

He swallowed and looked over to Amelia's parents, wondering how to respond. "In general, or your family?"

"I…" she faltered, unsure if she should test the waters before diving in. They could be too deep for her right now. However, one look at him told her that there was no better time than now. "I was wondering about _your_ family."

She saw him swallow heavily, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You and your mother are close, right?" At her seemingly harmless question, he relaxed a bit and nodded in response.

"She was very patient with you and your experiments?" This was a guess, and Sara didn't know where she was going. She knew what she wanted to ask, but if she did that now, it was very likely that he would either give no answer at all, or he would stammer nonsense to confuse her.

"She is not a science person, but she has always supported me. Why…"

"Because you are always so patient. Especially with Amelia."

He got her drift and smiled at the child in his arms. "She's a doll, but I'm not sure I could handle it if we had a more rebellious one on our hands."

Now it was Sara's turn to gulp. Had he really said that? This was Grissom, of course he had. And he hadn't meant anything by it – like always, right?

The thoughts were spinning around in her head, making her dizzy. He didn't look like he was aware what he had said, still focused on Amelia, guiding her hand a bit as she fumbled with one of the pieces.

"Grissom," she started, but was interrupted by an elderly couple.

"Hello, you must be Dr. Grissom and Ms. Sidle," the man greeted them.

Amelia looked up at their voices. "Amma, Ampa," the girl called, a huge smile on her face. "My pwesent."

She lifted the puzzle board to show it to her grandparents, but she tipped it slightly and two pieces fell out. She put it back down and looked up at Grissom, her face sullen with disappointment.

He found it hard not to laugh at her expression, but he knew that would be the wrong thing to do. Little children didn't know the nuances of humor. He reached out, and with two quick movements the pieces were back in place. "All fixed. But don't let them fall out again."

The girl had followed his hands and was now smiling brightly again. Sara, who had watched the display, now turned to the grandparents. "Nice to meet you. I hope we're not keeping Amelia from spending time with you."

She was very well aware that they were sitting away from the other guests, and that Amelia was not partaking in her party. They were _so_ not socially adept.

"No, don't worry," they sat down, keeping Amelia in their field of vision, "my daughter already told us she was really taken by you."

Grissom was listening, keeping himself out of the conversation, interested in what Sara had to say. He was still worried that she was here because she felt she had to be. It didn't seem that way, but it was hard not to let his insecurities dictate his thoughts, telling him that that was not what Sara wanted. He had to remind himself to listen to his own advice. Rely on what never lies, the evidence. And the evidence was telling him that Sara was here, talking to him with a smile on her face, and he just had to hold on to that.

"When Alex told me she wanted a party, I was skeptical," Amelia's grandmother told Sara. "But this is quite nice, even if it's more for her parents to remember than for Amelia."

They seemed to have the right view on things, realistically calling what they saw, which made the two scientists more at ease with them. They saw delusions and 'beauty talk' every night, and they didn't need for it to spill over into the meager rest of their lives.

"Isn't it always like that?" It was the first time that Grissom spoke, surprising Sara with his insight.

"Hmm, it's an important part of parenthood."

Sara wondered where this was going. Amelia's grandparents were friendly, but there seemed to be a question lurking that she was not sure she wanted to hear.

"Do you have children?"

There it was. The grandmother had asked a question that was far too personal for Sara's liking. She could see where this was going, and she prayed for Grissom not to answer, not to walk into that trap, although she was curious to hear his response. In fact, she had been about to ask a similar question.

Grissom was oblivious to the direction the conversation was taking, and he answered the question with a short, "No."

Sara just shook her head, more at Grissom's clueless state than at what was intended as an answer.

And then it came, the predicted disaster, "Are they in your future plans?"

Sara could only watch with dread as Grissom stiffened. All her hard work at getting him to open up was dangerously close to being for naught.

She was too afraid and too focused on Grissom to remember that the question was also directed at her, but she wouldn't have known how to answer anyway. Right now, she didn't know what she wanted – besides Grissom to take the chance of course.

"I…I'm not sure I would be a good father."

Sara's head snapped up, totally taken by surprise that he answered, and that he did it like this. Not that she knew what he meant.

How could he say that and still have Amelia on his lap, looking so happy? He was good with children, and despite his earlier words about rebellious children she knew that he would be patient.

Or, was it just his way of politely negating the answer without a harsh-sounding 'no'?

Why was everything so confusing?

"I think our granddaughter would disagree."

He smiled at that, just enough to give Sara hope that not all was lost. "But this is different. Babysitting is different than having a child 24/7, and not everyone is made for this tremendous task."

He lowered his eyes to Amelia again, and Sara thought she detected a twinge of sadness. Past or future, what was he talking about?

Damn, this man was so ambiguous. Amelia's grandparents seemed satisfied with his answer and changed the topic of their conversation, forgetting to ask Sara, for which she was glad.

They inquired about their work, truly curious about the gruesome job. Time passed fairly quickly while they talked, and Amelia played with her toys. They left with a promise to visit again and a bit of relief that they had survived a birthday party.

For now, Sara decided to let him settle everything in his mind.

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

Child's Play

Chapter 6

Summary: Grissom decides it's time to move a step forward, but is Sara ready?

A/N: I'm sorry that it's taking me longer and longer to update, but I just have so much other stuff that's keeping me from writing. This will be finished, I promise, and I try to get at least one chapter out per week.

xxxxx

When Sara opened her locker the next night, she was surprised to find a card inside. A quick look around told her she was alone, which was nothing unusual as she was an hour early, her normal clock-in time.

She opened the card, and her eyes widened at what she read.

'_Please, have dinner with me.  
I'm not rushing, just hoping you're going to say yes.  
Grissom'_

Her mouth went dry as panic began to overtake her. Dinner?

After the party, she had thought he would clam up, fall back into his old pattern for a while and ignore her for a week or two. Never in her life had she dared to dream that he would actually make the move – let alone that fast.

Suddenly, she didn't know if she was ready.

What if she did something stupid? She was not good at this stuff.

When she began to see the first black dots in her line of vision, she felt a hand clamp over her face. She struggled at first but then recognized the smell and tried to relax. The hand over her mouth and nose helped to regulate her breathing, and the dots disappeared as she came back from her panic attack.

Sara closed her eyes, wishing he would just go away, that this had never happened.

His hands did not leave her. They only moved to her cheeks, framing her face, and when she opened her eyes, she came face to face with a set of blue ones. She could see the worry and the silent question in his eyes, and suddenly she couldn't stop the tears from falling. Everything came crashing down on her, the weight of the past years, her fears and insecurities, the pain he had caused – and she cried.

His arms wrapped around her, and he held her as she cried, not knowing what else to do. Her thoughts were a complete mess, fluttering around in chaos so that she couldn't hold on to one for long.

It was a while before she had cried herself out, and she was able to talk again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling horrible for her emotional outburst. She shouldn't have let herself go. What was wrong with her?

First she was hyperventilating because of a dinner invitation, and then she broke out in tears when he touched her. Her rational mind tried to tell her that that was to be expected after the rollercoaster ride of the last few weeks, but she couldn't help but see it as a weakness.

She felt a tug on her arm and finally dared to open her eyes again. He looked at her with so much understanding that she almost started crying again.

"Let's go somewhere private." He tugged on her arm again, leading her out of the locker room.

When they neared his office, she was on the verge of panicking for the second time that night. He seemed to sense her hesitance and tried to make sure she was comfortable with this. "We don't have to talk. You can rest a bit before the others arrive."

She stepped through the door, and he closed the door and the blinds behind her. They both took a seat in front of his desk, but neither spoke a word.

Sara used the silence to compose herself, trying to figure out what had happened. It had started so innocently with a dinner invitation, and then she freaked.

Dinner…oh damn.

She hadn't even answered him, instead she had broken down crying. Way to give the poor guy a complex.

She cautiously glanced over at Grissom, trying to gauge his state of mind. His expression was tight, and he was sitting straight – too straight. No, she didn't want to think about what he felt about her reaction. She had to clear that up.

She wanted to go to dinner with him, but still, the thought frightened her.

Although she had told Grissom not to worry, she did herself. All of those 'what if' questions were pushing their way to the front of her mind. But she wanted this. She had to make this right.

"About dinner…" she began, trying to explain, but Grissom cut her off.

"Sara, look. You don't have to. Maybe it was a bad idea." He lowered his head, refusing to look at her, and Sara began to panic again.

He was retreating and soon there would be no chance that he'd ever make a move again.

However, this time her panic turned into anger, and she jumped up, startling him with her sudden movement. "Damn it, Grissom. Don't go all martyr on me now. We've made it this far."

Her voice level rose with every word. "I panicked, yes. And I'm panicking now. But not for the reasons you might think."

He had finally looked up to see her pacing. "Sara…"

"No, now it's my turn to talk, and you will listen." She threw herself into the chair again, taking a moment to sort her thoughts. "First of all, I _want_ to have dinner with you. I would _love _to have dinner."

His eyes were wide riveted on her, and he was listening, not blocking.

"I panicked when I saw your card, because I thought maybe you were not really meaning it and did it just because you thought I wanted it. And then, then I thought about all those things that could go wrong. I know I said that I'm confident about 'us' working out, but today my fear was stronger. I'm…I'm scared to lose you." A couple of tears were rolling down her face, her emotions betraying her again.

Suddenly she felt his hands hovering above her face, not quite daring to touch her. She brought her hands up to cover his and made contact with her face. His thumbs were carefully wiping her tears away, and in his eyes she could see the desire to take away her pain.

"You know why I'm scared now?" When he shook his head, she continued, "Because I'm scared that with my little breakdown, letting my fears consume me for a minute, you will retreat. You will not just take the invitation back, you will take the last few weeks back. And all of our progress will be gone, and it's going to be worse than before." Sara willed for him to see her pain, hoping that he would understand that this future would be worse than the present fears.

Grissom said nothing at first, his hands still cradling her face and his eyes boring into hers. Sara didn't dare close her eyes or turn away, although his scrutiny was making her uncomfortable.

He was taking his time, and she hoped his decision was worth it. She was losing the strength to fight.

"I meant what I said. I'm not taking anything back. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He leaned forward, and his lips touched her forehead, kissing her gently.

Sara closed her eyes, reveling in this simple display of affection, fighting a new onset of tears – this time not a sign of panic.

"Griss…" She was at a loss of words, not knowing what to say anymore. The only thing she wanted was for Grissom to keep holding her.

"I'm sorry." The unexpected apology made her smile.

"Although…I'm such a mess right now, are you still willing to go to dinner with me? In my current state of mind it's probably not a good idea. I don't even like myself that way."

Grissom's eyes darkened in anger, and before he spoke, Sara didn't know what she had done wrong this time. "Don't ever speak of yourself like that again. I put you through that, so blame me, not yourself."

His hands slid down her face, her shoulders, her arms until he reached her hands. He clasped them tightly in his.

"Let's try this again. Sara, will you have dinner with me?"

This time she remained calm and nodded. "Yes."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Child's Play

Chapter 7

By Dany

Summary: Finally, it's time for a big step forward.

xxxxx

The scene was eerily familiar.

Sara was standing in front of the mirror, smoothing down her clothes. Although she'd had more time to get ready and carefully choose her outfit than the last time, she was just as nervous – if not more so.

Tonight was the night.

They both had the night off so Grissom had proposed to make use of it. Waiting three days after his invitation had been hell, but she knew it was better that way. They wouldn't have to worry about getting to work on time and cutting their date short.

She was a bit confused by Grissom's request that she'd dress casually and practically. Obviously they were not going to a restaurant, and to be honest, Sara was grateful for that. They would have been incredibly uncomfortable, unaccustomed to the very social environment, and instead of it being romantic, it would probably be just a very tense evening.

Despite her repeated questioning, Grissom hadn't budged, not even giving her a hint as to where he was taking her. It was driving her crazy.

Sara had chosen black slacks with a burgundy shirt, nothing spectacular. Basically, she looked like she was going to work, and as she looked at the mirror again, she started doubting her choice. Was this too casual? Did she look plain?

xxxxx

Grissom stood in front of her door, fist already poised to knock when he hesitated.

His doubts were playing with his mind, all of his fears surfacing once again, but he knew he had thought this over and over and nothing was going to change the fact that he wanted to be close to Sara. Those fears would not simply go away just because he had made a decision, and he had to deal with that. He could go over a pro/con list in his head, but he had done that one time too many, and now the thought only gave him a headache.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Before he knocked he had to get himself under control again. Sara did not need his insecurities on top of hers.

The air flowed slowly out of his mouth, and then his hand made contact with the wooden surface.

He only had to wait a few seconds until the door swung open.

"You're beautiful."

Sara's eyes widened, and he swore she was blushing, but she immediately lowered her head to examine her shoes so he couldn't be sure.

Her answer was a stammered thank you before she stepped away from the door to fetch her jacket.

"Are you ready?" he asked, when she remained standing in the doorway, taking a good look at him.

She shook herself from her thoughts and let her eyes wander up to his. "Are you?" she threw back, her question aiming for his inner core.

Grissom swallowed hard, his own doubts trying to fight their way back to the surface again, but he managed to nod his head and hold out his arm for her.

He was stronger than that.

xxxxx

The drive was mostly spent in silence, except for the time when Sara had tried to lure some information from Grissom, but he remained tightlipped. He wanted it to be a surprise.

His plans included an old teaching colleague, a favor, and the hope that Sara would not want a dinner at a fancy restaurant full of people. He had tried to arrange a more private location, trying to create surroundings in which they would be able to relax enough to enjoy the evening.

At the moment, she was pouting and staring out the passenger side window, but Grissom guessed it was more for show than actually a display of true wounded pride.

When he pulled into a darkened parking lot, Sara turned to him. She could only see an equally dark building complex in front of her and couldn't make out a sign to tell her where they were. "Where…"

"Ah-ah!" Grissom cut her off, smirking at her frustrated huff, "Come on."

He exited the car and went around to open the door for her, giving the impression of a perfect gentleman. He led her away from the car, down a small path.

Sara looked around and recognition slowly dawned. This looked like a botanical garden.

They walked on until they came to what looked like the back door of one of the green houses. "Griss…"

"Shhh." He took one of her hands and wove his fingers through hers, tugging a bit on her arm while opening the door with the other hand. "Someone owed me a favor, and I wanted this evening to be special. I wanted to give you flowers, but I thought you'd like vegetation more."

He opened a second inner door, and what she saw took her breath away.

Several small lamp elements were lit around the green house, giving it a soft glow. Lots of exotic plants framed a path that led to a square, the ground soft from pieces of bark. Right in the middle there was a blanket spread out, food placed decoratively on it.

She couldn't believe the length Grissom had gone to make this evening special. "I feel like I stepped into a movie."

She could feel her free hand shaking, amazed that he – Grissom - had arranged all of this

"A bad movie?" The insecurity was audible in his voice. He watched her every move, and only when she smiled he relaxed a little.

"I love vegetation." She moved forward into the square, looking around, a huge smile on her face. Grissom remained standing on the path, watching her taking everything in. His hopes were rising that he had made the right decision.

"You should come over here before the food gets cold," she teased him, but when she saw him hesitating she beckoned him with a wink of her finger. "I really like it. Let's enjoy our dinner."

Grissom shrugged and sat down next to her, reaching for a plastic container. "Do you want some quiche? It's without meat."

Her smile widened, showing her happiness at his thoughtful planning.

"There's some other food too. I've got vegetables and dips; in that can is some vegetable crème soup, and there are some sandwiches to go with it. I figured I'd make it light since I don't know if you eat your dinner after or before shift."

As he saw her wide eyes, he lost his confidence and stuttered, "We can go and get some real food if you don't like this."

Sara had been staring at all of the food, but when she heard Grissom doubt his choice, her head swiveled around. "What…no, this is great. Really. Thank you."

To show him that she meant it, she took a sliced carrot and dipped it before crunching it with her teeth. He smiled and decided to follow her example, reaching for a piece of quiche.

xxxxx

They had continued eating in relative silence only asking for this or that, but never delving into a real conversation. Shy glances and small smiles were exchanged, making the evening almost magical.

Sara marveled at how well this date seemed to turn out. Never had she imagined that it would be this romantic.

To start a conversation, she tried to formulate a simple question that left a lot of leeway, not wanting to corner him. "Tell me something about you. Anything."

He stopped in mid bite, startled by her sudden request. His initial reaction was to tell her that there was nothing important to say about him – a gesture of defense – but then he thought better about it.

Sara was only trying to strengthen their bond again.

But what to say? What to reveal?

"I've always been a science person." He knew that was a lame start, and Sara seemed to agree, shaking her head and turning back to her food.

"But I also love the arts. My mother showed me how wonderful this other world can be, using it to balance my love for science. She had an art gallery. I guess I made the effort because she got into science to show me she supported me. She read biology books trying to understand me. Now, I almost like it as much as my bugs."

Sara blinked, amazed at what he had revealed, stunned that he was talking so freely about his mother. She reached over and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "Thank you."

Only now, Grissom lifted his head, daring to look at her, and he was relieved to see a bright smile on her face. His heart felt lighter, although the revelation didn't seem that big now, but it was a first step.

"I took several literature courses during my studies. I didn't do it for extra points. I thought I should know about things other than physics and math. I liked the ideas, and I liked the books, but I didn't like the professors telling what to think about the books, so I stopped going after two semesters."

Grissom felt better knowing she was not going to let him open up alone. Maybe this was the right way to understand each other on a deeper level.

"I considered getting a medical degree, but I think I was too afraid of all those people I would have to deal with. Entomology seemed to be a safer choice. And in the end, I still got what I wanted. We help people."

Sara thought about this, imagining Grissom as a doctor. It wasn't that hard, but he had made the right choice. Otherwise they wouldn't have met. It was a selfish thought, but she couldn't help herself.

She tried to think of another piece of herself that she could give him in exchange for this memory.

"It's not as serious as your wish to be a doctor, but when I was a kid I wanted to be a fisherman, well fisherwoman. Not that I could have killed the fish, but going out to the sea everyday, spending several hours out there, far away from everything…That was something I wanted to do, being out on the ocean, surrounded by water, no noise but the rippling of the waves and the cry of the sea gulls. It's a pretty romantic notion, but…"

She could see Grissom nodding, taking her words in. They were really not that different. He would be the one to understand her need for a quiet spot in a fast paced life. Maybe they could find some solitude together.

Sara hoped Grissom would offer her another piece of himself, but he changed the rules of their conversation. "How old were you?" His question startled her disturbing the bubble they had been sealed in.

She looked into his eyes. He wanted to make the effort to get to know each other again, this time beyond the surface.

"I can't remember when it started. I know that when my parents went to the market in the morning to buy provisions I would stray to the port, watching the fishermen come and go. They would tell the boys about the sea. I was too young and a girl, so I always stood a bit away from the others, but I listened just the same. I never told anyone, not even my parents. I would be at the shore for hours, staring out and wishing I had a boat."

The food was long forgotten, their hunger satisfied for the moment.

They sat facing each other, now hungering for something different. "Do you regret coming to the desert?"

There was another question lurking behind this one. As usual, Grissom's words were ambiguous, so Sara took her time to formulate an answer. She had to tread very carefully.

The truth was, there had been a time she had really wanted to leave, but was it really regret?

Right now she didn't want to be anywhere else. She was here, with Grissom, on a date.

Did she miss the ocean? Yes, she did. Did she want to leave to have that peace again? NO, not right now.

"No, right now, I'm where I want to be."

This answer seemed to calm him, and it was the truth.

Grissom relaxed some more, and with a newfound energy, he pushed himself off of the ground. "Want to take a walk?"

His hand reached out and Sara took it, hoisting herself up. "Sure."

xxxxx

Sara liked vegetation, it was true. Grissom knew a lot about vegetation.

Deeper conversation was left behind as they tried to match their knowledge in a shallower field. Grissom was surprised to notice that it was easier than he had anticipated, and the possibilities seemed endless. If he had to pass at giving information, Sara could take over. He had realized how much he enjoyed it.

The revelations had been minor, but had left him drained. Opening up was hard, but for Sara – for himself – he wanted to make the effort.

This walk gave him time to regroup and analyze what had been said. He had told her personal stuff, and she had done the same without questioning, although he did. That didn't seem fair. If she gave him the chance, he decided to let her ask him whatever she wanted, hoping she would start light on him.

For now, he was content to ease back into their old 'battle of the wits'.

xxxxx

Although she seemed attentive, she was not.

It was a skill she had acquired in school when she had been too bored by the teaching material. Never would she have thought that she would use it with Grissom. She couldn't help herself.

In a moment of excitement, Grissom had taken her hand and pulled her over to show her a small beetle that was sitting on a leaf. Even when they had left the little crawler behind, he hadn't let go. Sara didn't think he was aware, but decided to revel in it while she could.

This contact made it difficult for her to concentrate on his words and her brain made her answer automatically. She found it amusing that Grissom was so immersed in his surroundings that he didn't notice her scam.

Maybe one day she would tell him about it.

But right now, the warmth of his hand was feeling too good to break the moment.

xxxxx

After they finished their walk through the green house, they returned to their picnic spot where Grissom pulled another surprise out of the food bag.

With a smile on his face he turned to Sara, and she saw that he held a plate with a crème gateau. "You're really trying to stuff me, I never eat that much," she protested, but good-natured humor was coating her tone.

"Well, it's not as if you had too much to begin with," he joked back. "You're beautiful." It slipped out; it seemed like he couldn't make the conscious decision to tell her that.

Sara blushed, but kept smiling. This was the second time that day that he told her she was beautiful. Usually she shied away from such compliments, knowing they were mostly meaningless platitudes to appease the woman, but with Grissom, it was different. He would never use something like that to profit from it, and that made such a compliment even more treasurable.

"I know you feel a bit uncomfortable and that you have doubts about your ability to carry through a date, but this is perfect. Thank you." She waited anxiously until Grissom had set the plate down before she bent over slowly, letting him see what she intended to do. She hesitated only a brief moment to give him time to object before her lips met his.

Grissom on the other hand did not hesitate and let all his doubts fly away to show her how much she meant to him.

Time seemed to be at a standstill. Never before had Sara felt so sure that it would work out.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Child's Play

Chapter 8

By Dany

Summary: What happens when the others are about to find out?

A/N: Sorry, for the wait. This is the last chapter of Child's Play. I really hope you liked it. I don't know if I will write a sequel, because there's just so much stuff I have to take care of right now.  
Thanks to Ace for Betaing this piece. You helped me a lot.

xxxxx

Sara strolled into work the next night, humming to herself, and for once on time, meaning not an hour or two early as usual.

The other CSIs were already waiting and looked surprised when Sara entered. They had assumed she and Grissom had already been working on a case, but the way she walked in – way too relaxed – told them otherwise.

"Hey girl, spill!" Catherine was the first one to call her on her mood, setting her coffee cup down and leaning forward in an inquisitive move.

Nick looked up from his magazine while Warrick did the opposite. With one glance over the top of his magazine, he lowered his head, clearly signaling that he didn't want to be part of this. He did not want to be the one to put Sara _out_ of her good mood. But Catherine and Nick didn't seem to possess the same foresight.

"What should I spill?" Sara tried her best to sound innocent, but for an acting master like Catherine, it was easy to see through the obvious disinterest.

"You walk in here only five minutes before shift starts, and you're in a sickeningly good mood, so…"

Sara walked to the coffee pot, trying to appear calmer than she felt.

This was not good. If they could already see it after their first official date…

She knew she had to blame herself for that. She had slept like a baby, and when she woke up at her usual time, she didn't want to lose that warm, cozy feeling that originated from the wonderful dream she'd had. For once she had taken her sweet time, lounging in bed some more before taking a long hot shower. She had even taken the time to eat something. The result was that she had not been there early, but on time, and even facing this inquisition couldn't sour her day.

"I took a run before coming in. After my night off, I needed to get some of that 'hyperactivity' out of my system," she lied boldly.

With her coffee in hand, she picked up one of the bagels that was sitting on the counter. She walked over to where Warrick sat on the couch and sunk back down next to him.

"Come on Sara, you can tell us. You had a hot date last night." Unfortunately, Nick didn't know when to stop.

Catherine had just been about to switch tracks and postpone the questioning, but Nick didn't posses the intuition to know that this would not get anything out of her but a rise.

Sara's coffee cup never reached her lips. She stopped in mid-move and glared at Nick.

A swift kick in the shin by Catherine had alerted him to his mistake, but it was already too late.

"Hot date?" Sara's tone was dangerously low. "Even if I had a 'hot date', what makes you think I would tell you?"

That hurt, she knew that, but she didn't want any discussion about her and Grissom. Their coworkers would probably mean well, but gossip was gossip. It was hard enough, just between the two of them.

Nick looked every bit as hurt as he probably was, but at least it prevented him from saying something else, because not one minute later, Grissom entered with their assignments.

As he handed them their cases for the night, Sara was barely listening. She was already planning ahead, thinking about how she should approach the topic of their relationship in their next conversation, so she would know how to react when somebody else asked her. Her answer to Nick had shut them up for a while, but it would not last for long.

She had to talk to Grissom.

xxxxx

Grissom was unaware as to what had just happened, and he handed out the assignments as usual.

He had taken his extra time today, debating who should work what case and with whom. In the end, he couldn't help himself and partnered Sara with him.

Her presence always comforted him, and although he knew he was being unreasonable, he wanted to be sure she was safe, just for tonight.

As he looked up from the assignment slips, he was glad that he had not chosen to work with Catherine. She had that glint in her eyes that meant nothing good. He ignored her, but he was not stupid enough to believe she would be so easily discouraged. There would be an unannounced visit to his office at some point.

When everyone filed out of the break room, he saw Catherine open her mouth to start grilling him – that was faster than he thought – but he turned and hurried back to his office to grab some equipment before she could even utter his name.

Catherine would get back at him, of that he was sure.

xxxxx

When Grissom walked to his car, he was relieved to notice that Catherine's car was already gone - more time to come up with some answers to the unasked questions.

Sara was casually leaning against his car, waiting for him to come out of his hiding. When she smiled at him, he returned the smile and opened the car for them to get in.

He started the car, feeling secure in their silence, but only until Sara spoke, "Grissom, can we talk?"

His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, and his knuckles turned white. This was the sentence he never wanted to hear. Sweat began to appear above his brows, and he swallowed hard.

Sara noticed his tension and tried to explain, "I know this is work, and I shouldn't bring something private up, but this can't wait."

Instead of reassuring him, it made him even more uncomfortable, and he was about to object when Sara went on, "The guys noticed something, and they were asking me if I had a hot date last night. I didn't say anything, don't worry."

She was a bit hurt that he was taking this so hard, and she started wondering if he was having doubts. "I just want to know what I should do when they ask me again. And they will."

He nodded at that, realizing the truth behind her words. Grissom was somewhat relieved that she didn't want to talk about them per se, but about how they would handle it in public. "I don't know. What do you want to tell them?"

That was a cop out, and he knew it. However, he was too afraid to make a mistake.

"Grissom," she groaned, giving him a death glare although his eyes were focused on the street, and he probably wasn't able to catch it.

"Alright," with a sigh he gave in, "I would have liked to keep this between the two of us. It doesn't feel right that they know about it when we are not exactly sure how we're going to do this. How suspicious were they?"

Sara was glad he was willing to discuss the issue, re-evaluating the decree of secrecy placed on their relationship. She didn't want anyone to know, but the way they had looked at her, she knew she didn't stand much of a chance to keep them in the dark.

"Very. I'm afraid it's my fault. I…" She looked down on her lap, not wanting to face a possible disappointment. "I was late, well on time, and I think my usually grumpy self was on vacation." The sarcasm was audible in her voice, telling him that she berated herself for her slip up.

"Sara, you're allowed to be in a good mood. Hell, I caught myself whistling when I got up. I never whistle. That's just…wrong."

She snickered at the mental picture that popped up in her head, but let him continue when she noticed that he wasn't finished.

"I didn't like it that you were always so glum. I'm sorry." They were really two peas in a pod. Now he was blaming himself again, wondering why he had let it go that far.

"Not your fault. On the contrary, you told me to get a distraction, and I didn't listen. But that's not the point here." She wanted to get away from this topic. She was not ready to go there, yet.

"So…"

"So?"

Grissom glanced over at her and saw her worrying her lower lip. "Look, if they ask, stall them and call for me. I think that if we have to come forward and tell them the truth we should both be there. One shouldn't catch the brunt alone."

Sara nodded silently, mulling over his words. He was right, but that didn't make it easier.

"Or would you want us to beat them to it and tell them right away?"

She wasn't sure what she wanted. Before, she had been the pushy one, and now she had the feeling that she couldn't go one step without him holding her hand. She didn't like that; dammit, she was too independent for that.

Time to take control again. "I'll try to cut them off," her voice got stronger with every word, "I don't feel like telling them yet. If there is really no other way, it would be nice if we could support each other." She felt better at having made a decision. Neither of them was ready to let anyone else intrude into their little world, but if there was no other way, she didn't want to lie to them.

When Grissom didn't reply immediately, her lip had to suffer again as she bit down on it.

"Okay, then that's it. Just remember that you're not alone." So he had also made up his mind about them being together – come what may.

He turned the ignition off, and Sara realized that they were at the crime scene. Brass was waiting for them at the curb. "Thanks. Now…let's get this show on the road."

xxxxx

When they returned to the lab, Sara could see them circling the breakroom like sharks, waiting for her to step into the basin.

Grissom had noticed it too, and was looking at her, silently asking her if he should join her to face the predators. She nodded, his presence calming her.

After they had dropped off their evidence, they entered the breakroom together. While Grissom fished for a bottle of water in the back of the fridge, Sara put on a fresh pot of coffee.

It wasn't long until the rest of the team settled in. Catherine and Nick didn't look like they were about to drop the subject.

"You ready to get out of here and meet your date?" Nick just had to put his foot into his mouth again, and received a swift kick from Catherine under the table.

"Okay, you guys are my friends, but first of all, this is work, and second, you all know how private I am and how uncomfortable that makes me. And still, you can't leave it alone." Her words were tinged with a hint of anger, but it was the sadness that made them all look away in shame. She had stuck the right chord.

"I'm sorry, Sar," Nick was the first to apologize, but Catherine nodded to show she was with Nick on this.

Grissom, who had stood behind Sara as she confronted their colleagues, figured that this was the time to break this little party up. "I think we've all got some cases, so let's earn our money for once," he tried to joke and wandered out of the room.

Warrick and Nick left to check with Hodges for their evidence, but Catherine remained behind, still studying Sara, not daring to say anything.

They sat in silence until the shrill sound of Sara's beeper filled the air. She quickly scanned the display. A smile flickered over her face, but she caught herself again and muttered, "Evidence."

Catherine nodded, buying her little lie.

Sara hurried out of the room. Although her control over the visible emotions was fast in place this time, her step was a bit lighter as she walked down the hallway, quickly typing her answer. "Yes!"

It was her reaction to Grissom's simple question, "Dinner?"

The End


End file.
